by Alice Macher » Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:18 pm
I watch as Lisa leans back against the bed, folds her arms behind her head and drifts off somewhere beyond her closed eyes. "Lis? Still in there?" I say.
"Uh!" she says, blushing, her eyes flitting open. "Sorry, Ag. I was...daydreaming."
I half-smile, despite my guts continuing to writhe like a pit of angry snakes. "About what? Penny and me responding moistly with our hoo-has?"
Lisa turns an even deeper shade of red. "No! I totally wasn't. You know I don't, don't think about you that way. And it's hoo-hoos. 'Hoo-ha' is what old-time Borscht Belt comedians say when they've used up their 'oy gevalt, the goyim' allowance. "
I cut her off before she goes into stand-up mode herself. "You don't think that way about me? Then why'd you try to kiss me, even casually like you said?"
Her face falls; her shoulders slump and she pouts. "I thought you weren't mad about that anymore. I thought we were coolsies."
Idiot, why did I say that? I pat her back on the knee. "I'm not. And we are. I'm just asking--"
Her shoulders straighten up a little. "What does it matter? When I did offer, you felt nothing."
I look down, bite my lip, feel my cheeks get warm. "Not...not quite nothing."
She tilts her head and does an awful Gary Coleman voice. "What you talkin' 'bout, Aggis?"
"Don't, don't send me into another giggle-fit, please. I'm thinking... maybe with all our talk about how I'm responding, whom I'm responding to, and not responding to...um." As my cheeks get warmer still, I meet her eyes. "Would you mind if we tried something right now?"
"Something? What--" Lisa's eyes widen, then just as suddenly narrow. She crosses her arms and turns her head away. "Oh, I get it. Sorry, Aggie, but I'ma pass on being the Marshall to your Sara."
"Come on. You don't know yet that's how it'll go. Besides... Besides." I let my eye trace the path from her toes, up along her tiny, smooth feet, her legs, up to the hint of panty under her skirt. And suddenly I wish I'd used more anti-perspirant this morning.
"Besides what?"
I swallow hard and meet her eyes. I'm taking a huge risk here, but I have to know. "Besides, in spite of my yuk-fest before when you brought it up, I already think you're...smexy, Lisa."
She turns back to face me, her face the shade of fresh strawberries. "Really? You're not just sayin'?"
"I'm not just sayin'. What I am saying is, I'd like to know whether, when I kissed Penny, it was something more than smexiness I felt."
"What could be more than--?" A smile slowly spreads across her face. "Ohhh. I think I grok it." She stands up, cracks her knuckles, sits back down on the floor, facing me, wearing her best SRS-face. "Okay, Ag. One kiss. No tongue, hands off the ta-tas."
It takes all my will to stop myself from collapsing in convulsive gasps of laughter again. "Agreed. On three? One, two, three."
I lean forward, cradle the nape of her neck in my hand, and shut my eyes...
"Well?" says Lisa when we're done.
I smile at her. "Well, you'll be happy to know you're not the Marshall to my Sara. I did feel something. Still do, a bit. You're a great kisser, honest."
"But--?"
"But... God, I don't want to hurt your feelings..."
"Tell me already, dork."
"But it wasn't what I felt when I kissed her. And it wasn't just the hoo-whatever thing. With Penny, it felt like much more than that. It felt like... like something I haven't felt since my mom died. Maybe even before that. It felt like...like a circle closing. Like coming home after a long trip. Like rest. That's how it felt with her, Lis. What do you think?"
"Well, I can't say I have personal expertise in the matter, except in my fantasies, sometimes with the help of bubble baths and such. But offhand? I'd say you're in love."
I let that sink in, and before long I notice there's no longer a pit of snakes inside me. There's nothing but warmth. A calm, pleasant warmth, not a warmth that makes me sweat and itch. I don't think I've ever felt anything quite like it. Not with Darren, not even with Marshall, for as long as I spent in his thrall. But I'm feeling it now.
I'm in love. With Penny. It doesn't make me want to giggle, to hyperventilate, to write pretentious sonnets. It just makes me want to sit in silence with it for a few moments and feel grateful, at peace. So, shutting my eyes, I do just that.
After who knows how much time has passed, I hear Lisa's voice from what seems like across the galaxy, but she's still right in front of me. "Aggie? Listen, it's getting close to dinnertime. I'm sure my folks will let you join us if it's okay with your dad, but..."
I open my eyes and, adjusting to my surroundings, blink like an old movie projector. "I'd like that, sure. I'll call home right now. But before I call, do you... do you think Penny feels the same way?"
"About your joining us for dinner?"
I reach for the nearest pillow and smack her upside the head. "No, smartass. You know what I mean."
"Ow. Yeah, I do. But I'm no more of a John Edward than you are. I can't read her mind. Talk to her. I think she's been waiting for you to do just that, anyway."
"I will. Tonight, right after I come home." Then I realize there's some more air that needs clearing. "Lisa... with the test we just did and all... we cool?"
She crosses her arms and furrows her eyebrows. "Well, let's see. You kept your word about the tongue and the ta-tas and such, and you were strai--you were honest with me afterward. And, not gonna lie myself, it was reassuring to hear I'm at least a little smexy to you. Yeah, we're cool." She opens her arms toward me. "C'mere."
We hug, and this time, unlike last December at the mall, there's no "uh-oh" moment, because of what I still feel inside for my enemy turned ally turned other-best-friend turned...well, that's up to her as much as it is to me. Tonight, after dinner. When I'm home.
THE END
Last edited by
Alice Macher on Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Life doesn't wait forever." --Lisa Winklemeyer