The Test [fic]

[Alice Macher]

I watch as Lisa leans back against the bed, folds her arms behind her head and drifts off somewhere beyond her closed eyes. "Lis? Still in there?" I say.

"Uh!" she says, blushing, her eyes flitting open. "Sorry, Ag. I was...daydreaming."

I half-smile, despite my guts continuing to writhe like a pit of angry snakes. "About what? Penny and me responding moistly with our hoo-has?"

Lisa turns an even deeper shade of red. "No! I totally wasn't. You know I don't, don't think about you that way. And it's hoo-hoos. 'Hoo-ha' is what old-time Borscht Belt comedians say when they've used up their 'oy gevalt, the goyim' allowance. "

I cut her off before she goes into stand-up mode herself. "You don't think that way about me? Then why'd you try to kiss me, even casually like you said?"

Her face falls; her shoulders slump and she pouts. "I thought you weren't mad about that anymore. I thought we were coolsies."

Idiot, why did I say that? I pat her back on the knee. "I'm not. And we are. I'm just asking--"

Her shoulders straighten up a little. "What does it matter? When I did offer, you felt nothing."

I look down, bite my lip, feel my cheeks get warm. "Not...not quite nothing."

She tilts her head and does an awful Gary Coleman voice. "What you talkin' 'bout, Aggis?"

"Don't, don't send me into another giggle-fit, please. I'm thinking... maybe with all our talk about how I'm responding, whom I'm responding to, and not responding to...um." As my cheeks get warmer still, I meet her eyes. "Would you mind if we tried something right now?"

"Something? What--" Lisa's eyes widen, then just as suddenly narrow. She crosses her arms and turns her head away. "Oh, I get it. Sorry, Aggie, but I'ma pass on being the Marshall to your Sara."

"Come on. You don't know yet that's how it'll go. Besides... Besides." I let my eye trace the path from her toes, up along her tiny, smooth feet, her legs, up to the hint of panty under her skirt. And suddenly I wish I'd used more anti-perspirant this morning.

"Besides what?"

I swallow hard and meet her eyes. I'm taking a huge risk here, but I have to know. "Besides, in spite of my yuk-fest before when you brought it up, I already think you're...smexy, Lisa."

She turns back to face me, her face the shade of fresh strawberries. "Really? You're not just sayin'?"

"I'm not just sayin'. What I am saying is, I'd like to know whether, when I kissed Penny, it was something more than smexiness I felt."

"What could be more than--?" A smile slowly spreads across her face. "Ohhh. I think I grok it." She stands up, cracks her knuckles, sits back down on the floor, facing me, wearing her best SRS-face. "Okay, Ag. One kiss. No tongue, hands off the ta-tas."

It takes all my will to stop myself from collapsing in convulsive gasps of laughter again. "Agreed. On three? One, two, three."

I lean forward, cradle the nape of her neck in my hand, and shut my eyes...



"Well?" says Lisa when we're done.

I smile at her. "Well, you'll be happy to know you're not the Marshall to my Sara. I did feel something. Still do, a bit. You're a great kisser, honest."

"But--?"

"But... God, I don't want to hurt your feelings..."

"Tell me already, dork."

"But it wasn't what I felt when I kissed her. And it wasn't just the hoo-whatever thing. With Penny, it felt like much more than that. It felt like... like something I haven't felt since my mom died. Maybe even before that. It felt like...like a circle closing. Like coming home after a long trip. Like rest. That's how it felt with her, Lis. What do you think?"

"Well, I can't say I have personal expertise in the matter, except in my fantasies, sometimes with the help of bubble baths and such. But offhand? I'd say you're in love."

I let that sink in, and before long I notice there's no longer a pit of snakes inside me. There's nothing but warmth. A calm, pleasant warmth, not a warmth that makes me sweat and itch. I don't think I've ever felt anything quite like it. Not with Darren, not even with Marshall, for as long as I spent in his thrall. But I'm feeling it now.

I'm in love. With Penny. It doesn't make me want to giggle, to hyperventilate, to write pretentious sonnets. It just makes me want to sit in silence with it for a few moments and feel grateful, at peace. So, shutting my eyes, I do just that.

After who knows how much time has passed, I hear Lisa's voice from what seems like across the galaxy, but she's still right in front of me. "Aggie? Listen, it's getting close to dinnertime. I'm sure my folks will let you join us if it's okay with your dad, but..."

I open my eyes and, adjusting to my surroundings, blink like an old movie projector. "I'd like that, sure. I'll call home right now. But before I call, do you... do you think Penny feels the same way?"

"About your joining us for dinner?"

I reach for the nearest pillow and smack her upside the head. "No, smartass. You know what I mean."

"Ow. Yeah, I do. But I'm no more of a John Edward than you are. I can't read her mind. Talk to her. I think she's been waiting for you to do just that, anyway."

"I will. Tonight, right after I come home." Then I realize there's some more air that needs clearing. "Lisa... with the test we just did and all... we cool?"

She crosses her arms and furrows her eyebrows. "Well, let's see. You kept your word about the tongue and the ta-tas and such, and you were strai--you were honest with me afterward. And, not gonna lie myself, it was reassuring to hear I'm at least a little smexy to you. Yeah, we're cool." She opens her arms toward me. "C'mere."

We hug, and this time, unlike last December at the mall, there's no "uh-oh" moment, because of what I still feel inside for my enemy turned ally turned other-best-friend turned...well, that's up to her as much as it is to me. Tonight, after dinner. When I'm home.


THE END

[The Shadow]

Very well-written, but I don't get the John Edwards reference.

[Alice Macher]

Thanks!

John Edwards is a celebrity psychic, best known for his TV show Crossing Over, and at least one tie-in book. It's maybe not the best celebrity reference, because his specialty is (so he claims) communicating with the deceased. But I couldn't offhand think of a more general "big name" psychic still current enough for Lisa, not to mention those who read this story, to have heard of. There was a "Miss Cleo" many years back, operated a psychic hotline, read the tarot, got into a big fraud scandal of some sort, but I'm not sure whether she's current enough that Lisa (and readers) would be familiar with her.

[The Shadow]

Ah. See I was thinking about the politician, but I know who you're talking about now that you've explained it. I think I vaguely remember Miss Cleo, but you're probably right about her not being recent enough.

[Harkel Tu]

Alice [...] You are made of love and win.

Incorrect. For "Love" and "Win" combined cannot compare to the sheer amount of absolute win-erocity that is Alice Macher.

But seriously, this is really good, and should be the reason the big sites like FF.N should have a P&A section >.<[/quote]

[Pink Freud]

Wow, love it. Really.

Though personally I think you shoulda went with Allison Dubois.

[Kamino Neko]

Wait? 'Aggis'? Are you saying that Lisa thinks Aggie is a sheep's stomach stuffed with oats?

[Alice Macher]

@PinkFreud: I've never heard of her, so I Googled and read the Wikipedia article. Falsely claiming to have solved cases for the Texas Rangers, huh? Greeeat.

Wait? 'Aggis'? Are you saying that Lisa thinks Aggie is a sheep's stomach stuffed with oats?

As Groundskeeper Willie would say, "Get yer haggis, right here. Chopped heart and lungs. Boiled in a wee sheeps' stomach. Tastes as good as it sounds."

[sentora]

Dawww...This was a nice surprise. I liked that she was against being her 'marshall' at first, despite the hints of attraction there. It really shows that she's Aggie's friend first and foremost, right down to being honest about caring if she's 'smexy'.

[Alice Macher]

Dawww...This was a nice surprise. I liked that she was against being her 'marshall' at first, despite the hints of attraction there. It really shows that she's Aggie's friend first and foremost, right down to being honest about caring if she's 'smexy'.

That, and also, as several people pointed out earlier this week when she was miffed at Aggie's hysterical laughter, Lisa does have her pride, and so the way I see it, best friend or not, she would balk at kissing Aggie if she thought Aggie was simply using her to prove a foregone conclusion.

[Alice Macher]

Ee hee hee, tweeted! *Bounce hop bounce*

I should hasten to point out this doesn't mean I'm privy to any inside information as to how the story will go in-canon. But thanks so much, T; I honestly didn't expect that. ♥♥♥

[WildfireDS]

Of course, you would say that even if you WERE privy to such secret information. *shiftyeyes*

Srsly tho, an excellent offering. Although I admittedly didn't actually remember who in the world John Edwards was (The only John Edwards that immediately lept to mind was the politician)

[Kamino Neko]

Just to clear up some confusion, the Crossing Over guy is John Edward, without the s. (Which I didn't realize until looking up the politician, and noticing he wasn't on the disambig...)

[Alice Macher]

Ooh, thanks, Kamino. No wonder there was confusion. I've corrected it.

[Sri]

That was amazingly adorable.