QUILTBAG: A Breakdown of the Acronym.

[Kamino Neko]

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO OLD?

-_-

(35, still occasionally mistaken for a teenager, at least as of 3 years ago...)

[Artemisia]

Of course we're only as old as we act...

After writing that I was tempted to add dirty words in white tiny font...

Well, a lot of trans and intersex people never properly socialize until much later in life, so we don't really learn to go beyond the teenager stage until much later in life.

[Artemisia]

I know that this might be an odd question to as our asexual community here, but I'd like to ask it anyway.

Is it possible for someone who is asexual to go through periods of time when sexual desire is heightened, but then have that sexual desire pretty much dissipate and stay away most of the time?

I think I worded that how I wanted to ask it.

[Captain LeBubbles]

If you're asking if asexual people experience sexual arousal, then yes, we do (well, I do). It's pretty rare (in fact, it can almost perfectly be lined up to right before I start my period.. HMM), and I think asexuality derives from a psychological lack of desire for sex as much as a biological one. However, I've never been aroused by a specific person or event.

Does that answer the question?

Also how dare you insinuate that Friendship is Magic is only for kids D: (Dude I was watching the season 2 finale the other day and full on sobbed. SOBBED. And I'm heartless!)

[Artemisia]

Thank you

The reason I wanted to ask is because...well, as odd as it sounds, I sometimes feel like a light switch these days. Half the month, I'm so easily aroused that I can't go more than a few minutes without thinking about sex, and then. . .I spend the next two weeks so lacking in any arousability that a gorgeous woman could stand naked in front of me and I'd feel close to nothing.

I was wondering because I was kind of feeling like something was wrong with me. Maybe it's just because our society seems to push sex 24/7 that I feel bad about not wanting sex all the time.

And MLP:FiM is suppose to be for children. . .but really, I think it's children of all ages

[Freemage]

First of all, I need to emphasize that all you damn kids need to get off my lawn (42 and counting, here ).

I suspect that T.'s fanbase actually skews slightly older, demographically, simply because he's been at the helm of a few long-running strips. Fans followed him from the halcyon days of Fans! and Cool Cat Studio, and so by definition, some of us are well past the typical netizen mean.

Think of it this way--a younger individual, searching for a fantasy webcomic with humorous underpinnings is going to be just as likely to stumble across Twice Blessed as Guilded Age. A T. Campbell fan, though, would've found the latter much faster.

[oddtail]

I was wondering because I was kind of feeling like something was wrong with me. Maybe it's just because our society seems to push sex 24/7 that I feel bad about not wanting sex all the time.

I don't think I've ever met a person who wanted sex all the time, actually... I'm not even sure it's possible.

[Yinello]

I don't think I've ever met a person who wanted sex all the time, actually... I'm not even sure it's possible.

My boyfriend is a nymphomaniac so it's possible. He really wants sex a lot of times. More than anyone I've ever met. Oddly enough I'm always the instigator when it comes to having sex, him wanting it so much somehow makes him feel guilty when he asks me for it. Some people think a nymphomaniac is someone who will jump everyone but if anything he's held himself back a lot. His fear of hurting me in some crazy way because of his big sex drive even drove me to the point where I yelled at him that he didn't need to ask my permission to touch me.

He does look at a lot of porn but so do I. xD

[Lia S]

The reason I wanted to ask is because...well, as odd as it sounds, I sometimes feel like a light switch these days. Half the month, I'm so easily aroused that I can't go more than a few minutes without thinking about sex, and then. . .I spend the next two weeks so lacking in any arousability that a gorgeous woman could stand naked in front of me and I'd feel close to nothing.

I was wondering because I was kind of feeling like something was wrong with me. Maybe it's just because our society seems to push sex 24/7 that I feel bad about not wanting sex all the time.

I think it's normal to have that kind of switching between your usual level of interest and no interest (but the one calling it normal is ME, so...). If your interest in sex disappears for more than a few weeks, something may be wrong, it could be depression or a physical problem, so if it stays away for too long you might want to tell your doctor.

[Valerie]

The reason I wanted to ask is because...well, as odd as it sounds, I sometimes feel like a light switch these days. Half the month, I'm so easily aroused that I can't go more than a few minutes without thinking about sex, and then. . .I spend the next two weeks so lacking in any arousability that a gorgeous woman could stand naked in front of me and I'd feel close to nothing.

I was wondering because I was kind of feeling like something was wrong with me. Maybe it's just because our society seems to push sex 24/7 that I feel bad about not wanting sex all the time.

I'm not a doctor or anything, so take this with a grain of salt, but you're intersexed, right? Are you on any sort of hormone treatment? Maybe it's lined up a certain way with your period (if you have one)? Oh God, am I being rude? I'm trying to help. I'm sorry. D:

'Course, the label that suits me best is probably "demisexual," so I have no idea how a sexual person's libido works... aside from "probably more."

[Artemisia]

You know, sometimes I worry that I come off as sounding egotistical. . .what I am trying to do is understand, but for me, that means having to orient my experiences with what I am trying to understand.

I am on hormone replacement therapy, but the amount I absorb depends upon my intestinal inflammation, which is cyclical. In women, issues like Crohn's disease can be tied to the menstrual cycle. I've been going through this since I was 14.

So, ok, I now understand what asexuality 'feels like', as it were, and gotten answers to 'I'm not really broken'. Oh, I have tried to talk to my doctors, but the only time I've ever had anyone actually catch the symptoms correctly was when I ran down them with the nurse.

[Valerie]

(You didn't sound egotistical at all. Don't worry so much. <3)

[konaa]

@ oddtail, Louisa I mainly want some kind of label just so I guess I can express my sexuality to others quickly and effectively, without having to list things off like I did. Although I don't know of that would ever even be a problem. I don't think asexual or demisexual really fit me, after thinking about it for a while. I'd honestly say that I'm bi but just the least flirty or romantic person you'll probably ever meet.

@ NobodySpecial: Captain LeBubbles is right; I haven't had sexytimes with anyone.

@ LeBubbles: I didn't even know about bisexuality until maybe I was 15. My parents (as is probably known) have the expectation that I'm straight, so for 15 years I didn't know anything about the QUILTBAG community etc. I still don't know much but I'm learning plenty from both experience and this forum. And I never did announce my gender, did I? I'm a guy.

Clearly I need to get on here more. Sorry people!

[Freemage]

Val: One to add, possibly as a pre-emptive strike before the entire list:

One person does not speak for all.

A common--very common--trap that People of Privilege (such as myself) fall into, in the process of becoming allies (and even after that transformation is largely complete), is thinking that because we've found one person who will take the time to patiently explain the non-privileged viewpoint to us, we've got a lock on the gay/black/female/trans experience. Artemesia has actually brought me up short from doing this precise thing on the experience of folks who've been mis-assigned their gender at their birth. It's a seductive lure, and probably one of the biggest tricks that can cause an ally to fall down on the job spectacularly.

[Captain LeBubbles]

@Konaa: I used to fall into the trap of thinking that bi people need to pick a side (preferably straight...) and when my best friend-at-the-time came out as bi, my main reaction was, and this is a quote (as usual, I'm not proud of it) "being a lesbian is one thing, but she needs to settle on one." (Oh, Celestia, you guys, I am so sorry for little me. Sometimes I want to just go back in time and smack some sense into myself.)

@Freemage: That's one of the reasons I've been careful to add the "or at least, I do" and "what about you other lot?" tags where possible. I'm aware that my mindset is pretty unique, and I'm not sure what of that is caused by my asexuality and what simply has the same root. (For example, my frustrations with how sexually oriented society is are a direct cause of me not wanting any. The fact that I might be genderqueer*, on the other hand, I believe is caused by the same thing, but is not directly linked beyond the source.)

*I think? I'm still working on that one.