The unofficial bad day thread.

[NobodySpecial]

Thanks. My pain is far lesser than a lot of you, comparatively. I probably sound too entitled here.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

- John Watson.

[Valerie]

Thanks. My pain is far lesser than a lot of you, comparatively. I probably sound too entitled here.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

- John Watson.

*applause*

I don't see the point in measuring one person's pain against another's. We all have lives that are so drastically different, even if only in the details, that it's impossible to make any meaningful comparisons.

[belniente]

Similar self-judging of problems is part of why I haven't really shared anything - sure, our A/C went out and we live in Florida, so it's 85+ during the day and muggy and gross at night, and I have asthma that is triggered by mugginess, and there's a wildfire north of us that has been covering us with smoke that also triggers my asthma, and all those things make it really hard to focus on schoolwork which is really critical at this time of the semester - but hey, no a/c at home means I'll be at the library all day, where I tend to focus better anyways, and that solves most of those problems (the ones it brings up instead are more trivial). So, nothing to complain about really, even though at first it seems pretty awful.

Even now it's hard for me to post because I feel like it's off-topic for me to post about something that sucks but hasn't really brought me down too much :/ But I will take this opportunity to send hugs to all bad-day-havers, because even the most trivial-sounding bad day is still a bad day and you do not deserve to feel bad. So there.

Also, deepest wishes of health, wealth, and love to all - I'm starting to wonder if the whooping cough thing has been going around here. My poor boyfriend's been coughing for 2 or 3 weeks now, though he doesn't seem to have any other symptoms, and my mom is similarly afflicted. Miraculously, I only had a sinus headache for a day and went back to my normal asthmatic cough upon triggers, but my lymph nodes feel swollen today so I am suspicious.

/returns to lurking

[NobodySpecial]

The only reason I don't share most of my problem is because A) It sounds terribly over the top out loud and B) It's nobody's fault but mine.

[Doc Harleen]

This is probably going to sound stupid, or terribly vague, but I've been excited about an upcoming trip that I'm taking with a girlfriend, and I woke up today terrified of traveling with someone who isn't my husband or family. I'm worried that my good friend will be sick of me after spending three days straight with me. I genuinely believe that I'm not that likable (though I couldn't tell you precisely why) and now I just feel like hiding under the covers for the rest of the day. (I can't, of course... I'm on my way to work right now.) So yeah... Just my own stupid damage, but I wanted to get it out of my head.

[Trefle]

Thanks I hope / pray to any deity working that each of us can get the power to solve our problems and to get through this.
Safe and warm.

Doc Harleen : I know the feeling of being on the receiving end of what you'd feared about; and my direct suggestion is to keep it somewhat balanced. Make it about you -and- her. Certain amount of restraint might be necessary; do each of you know how each other act at home? Is there any behaviors one of you might be offended by?

I would make a list, mentally or not; on what aspects do I think isn't likeable about me in this case, and try to think on how to minimize it. It may be useful for you?
Or it's an issue of self confidence, to which I *hugs* you.

I hope things will be better, and that trip will be enjoyable. *hugs*

[Artemisia]

Doc,

I think you're likable. But, then again, I tend to think I'm not all that likeable and that people just put up with me.

Okay, side note-

I'm really frustrated with my family. I've started to really grasp that I can't write or research outside of women's issues without feeling very uncomfortable. If you want, my comfort level kind of drops as I go beyond writing/researching lesbian issues. I'm sort of ok with heterosexual women's issues, less so with trans women's issues, can barely manage gay men's issues and really out of my depth with straight male issues. My big issue is that I live in a household that is dominated by straight women. The problem is that there is a tendency to assume that I am comfortable around men or will become comfortable around men, so I've had to endure some very indelicate conversations which have made me want to gag, at least with my cousins and sister. Both are heterosexual and both are in long term relationships.

Sigh...yesterday, my cousin decided to tell me that I'd have to get use to the fact that there were men around and that I'd eventually get use to it.

I know there are men out there, I'm reasonably comfortable dealing with them, but honestly, I don't want to study them. Right now, I just really wish I had some lesbian friends I could talk to.

[Trefle]

Artemisia:
I suspect you have a much richer past than I have (not to mention more tumultuous), but indeed, at one point there's got to be a certain...tolerance, to deal, to delve within the matter that is, an entire set of gender. That is not a small amount of number, nor is it an easy task..I think.
Not to say it will be an easy and rosy path either way. But..

Let's see. Mind if I ask you some questions?
You mentioned being able to reasonably comfortable dealing with them. What are the difference between dealing and studying men?
The uncomfortableness; in regards of which sort of issues do they tend to arise? political ones? Sexual, cultural ones? Or even general ones like, say, men and TV? What about issues like manscaping or pejazzling? (...oh, the things I learned from Jezebel. Potentially NSFW)

===
/minorwhine
Damn, I should not spend my day reading gay lits and reading TVTropes about almost all-male, testosterone filled, sweat-drenching sports manga.
My brain is sort of a mushy wreck right now. ROSE GLASSEES!

[Otaking]

Well she's back in the hospital, admitted to the crappy local one, not the ER this time. Coughing sets off nausea, which sets off dehydration, which sets off more nausea so she throws up a couple of times every hour. Can't keep the antibiotics nor fluids down. I've taken to dropping her off when she gets admitted because I can barely stand to be in the hospital anymore. Also she's always asking for more pain meds and I'm this long haired hippy looking guy in a small republican town so we get prejudged a lot so I might as well help not add to the image...they were already asking how old she was at the front desk beyond what they normally do for admittance, one of my favorite warning signs. You can only be sick if you're old you see. She has track marks solely from IVs in hospitals and all her veins are collapsed from so much IV that they always have to break out the ultrasound to get one back into her.

I've taken her to five different gastroenterologists over two states. They all say the same that it's scarring from her previous seven surgeries.

I can not even get regular people to comprehend how fucked up this all is. Imagine you're holding someone you love above water and they are drowning and pulling you down with them. Played Silent Hill 2? I'm James. I love my wife, I hate her for being sick all the time and putting me through all this. I say horrible things to her because the anger that breeds over years of this stuff just boils out sometimes. She talks all the time about how worthless she is and I try to boost her self-esteem because she is not, she gives me great joy when she is smiling and laughing, she's very talented before she was sick she could play the piano, draw, do gymnastics, fuck you up in Goldeneye and still can in SWTOR. Every guy and a few girls around her fought over her. The last few rounds when it got bad I called her a worthless parasite myself.

It would give me immense pleasure to fuck up every incompetent I meet connected with the medical industry...more reasons I need to stay away when she's in there. One of the first things we tell them every time we're in the ER is she had a full hysterectomy at 26...and we're always waiting an extra hour or two for the pregnancy test......

We watched the Muppets last night, we were happy for an 1:45 minus the three times she went to throw up. Today it's right back to it.

BTW I'm not a pity whore nor am I trying to belittle the problems of others (Well all except Zanosuke, Bleach? Come on now that show sucks like all this new anime. However as I'm the Otaking I guess I have to give you a pass . I see your Bleach and raise you Full Metal Alch: Brotherhood or perhaps the new Avatar stuff coming out )

I only write this stuff to try to stay sane and see how crazy I am when it's up there in black and white. I speak to no one in real life about this stuff anymore, my parents a little but they have their judgements of her as well. My sister wrote me this whole long letter about how she was a hypochondriac and I needed to divorce her and it's all just about the pain meds and blah blah conservative speak and my wife found the letter. When I moved back out here originally I was hoping to get better help from my family but I can't even have her near them due to all the prejudgements and the animosity on both sides now. Some, and I won't say all, conservatives are so practiced at selectively ignoring facts that I could beat them over the head with her amassed medical records, photos of scarring, multiple surgical reports which would be like the weight of an ACME cartoon anvil and these facts would still not sway them.

In case you're new to the Otaking Rant Show it went down like this:

Endometriosis > Laser ablative surgeries to remove Endo > Full hysterectomy + appendectomy > Colonoscopies > Gall bladder removed > Sphincter of Odii surgery > Pill Cam > Back to the Endo specialist in CA to loosen scarring > Everyone gives up and endless emergency room Hell > Hey I see you were bored, let's throw in some Whooping Cough on top of your chronic incurable mystery internal organ scarring...Thanks a lot God or whoever and Fuck You.

[NobodySpecial]

Damn, Otaking, that is some serious bad business. Mad respect: It could have been (WOULD have been) easier to walk away. That's bravery no man should have to show.

I'm hopeful for some relief for your wife.

[Trefle]

*hugs Otaking*
...I really think anything I will say at this point will come off as cheap empty senseless words that probably has been repeated around a bazillion times.
Hang on there? She'll get better? You'll get through this?
What should be said, so that you can feel slightly better, feel slightly less about this whole matter?

Oh.
I applaud you for sticking with her even with all those-- those. Must have been one hell of a woman. Don't give up on your wife.
It must have been one hell of an uphill battle.
Personally seeing, it's very understandable that both of you will have an enormous amount of issue, as much as a whole lot of disappointment and repressed feelings.. Those feelings needed release, no matter who they are. Especially with the lack of certain social backups and the prejudice around your area. I certainly have no idea on your inner strength; tho having the courage to go on despite everything probably signifies one hell of an inner strength.

Putting my faux therapist hat, How about writing some of it down? Like you did just now, only..more often. More detailed. It may or may not or does not need to be heard (people's on this matter are different, after all -- some want to be seen, some the opposite.) but the point is letting it out; putting words into the thoughts you made. However ugly it is. However meaningless, pointless it is.

Just so it won't explode at the worst time possible.
Do hang on there. You'll get through this. She'll be better. *hugs*
My thoughts goes to you.

[Zanosuke Kurosaki]

You're a good, brave man, Otaking. That's really all I can say there.

Also, I see your FMA and Avatar (which, while nice, ain't anime so is disqualified, sorry ) and raise you one Kimagure Orange Road*, one Full Metal Panic**, and one X/1999. Also also, Bleach has been around since '01. So it's not that new.

*which we only ever got the show for, never the comics - except for scanlations *cough* >.>.
**which we will probably never get all the original light novels for, since TokyoPop went under and I don't see anyone else picking up the printing any time soon.
***which will likely never have a finished comic run, since Clamp put it on a long-term hiatus as of March 2003 - which is ridiculous, since all but a small handful of chapters was left...

[Trefle]

***which will likely never have a finished comic run, since Clamp put it on a long-term hiatus as of March 2003 - which is ridiculous, since all but a small handful of chapters was left...

....OT, but I really have no idea how they will finish X. I mean, I HOPE they aren't pulling an xxxHolic... Though Legal Drug have been continued..?

ohyesiamslightlybitteroverdoumekixwatanuki

[Otaking]

Also, I see your FMA and Avatar (which, while nice, ain't anime so is disqualified, sorry ) and raise you one Kimagure Orange Road*, one Full Metal Panic**, and one X/1999. Also also, Bleach has been around since '01. So it's not that new.

*which we only ever got the show for, never the comics - except for scanlations *cough* >.>.
**which we will probably never get all the original light novels for, since TokyoPop went under and I don't see anyone else picking up the printing any time soon.
***which will likely never have a finished comic run, since Clamp put it on a long-term hiatus as of March 2003 - which is ridiculous, since all but a small handful of chapters was left...

Haha yeah those Koreans can draw though! I also hold something close to worship for the Avatar writing, because while a cartoon, it is very humorous and moving at the same time. Ever read Terry Pratchett?

'01 ain't the classics, '87 is I'll give you your Orange Road but I'm more of the Vampire Hunter D, Fist of the North Star, Bubblegum Crisis, Fight! Iczer One, Battle Angel Alita generation. Parasyte was probably the last worthwhile manga I read, well that and Sorcerer Hunters.

Yeah my wife about held a wake for Tokyo Pop...me I about break my neck climbing over the slippery pile of Yaoi next to the bed so while I don't like to see a good publisher go under I think I'm a little too Gar to be in the middle of their main demographic.

[Trefle]

Yeah my wife about held a wake for Tokyo Pop...me I about break my neck climbing over the slippery pile of Yaoi next to the bed so while I don't like to see a good publisher go under I think I'm a little too Gar to be in the middle of their main demographic.

nowai. Gar is awesome. Gar is awesomer in yaoi. trufax.
And you might want to see bara for a change....or some kind of new terror. *evillaugh*