Kchoze wrote:About the text at the origin of this thread. Basically the author is saying that she's getting a lot of sexual and romantic attention that she doesn't want (plus some of these expressions are just nasty, but let's put that aside for a while). How many men think the exact opposite? That they desperately want romantic and sexual attention and aren't getting any? You spoke of your experience, this is mine. Who is better off, the one with a surplus of attention or the one with a complete lack of it? Why can't we just agree that both suck and try to find solutions? Why do we have to be in Oppression Olympics and designate a "winner"... And then blame the "loser" for everything?
There's issue to be taken here. The entitlement is close to painful.
You really don't realize that the problem isn't surplus sexual/romantic attention, do you? The problem is men feeling entitled to do things to the writer without her permission. Full stop.
If you think that the suck of a lack of sexual/romantic attention is in any way comparable to the suck of being afraid that someone is about to assault you, you may need to sit down and re-evaluate a lot of things. There's no Oppression Olympics involved here. One is terror and the other is ennui. Not the same class of problem at all.
Now, you could argue that some or even most of the come-ons were simply ignorant attempts at being flirty and not really intended to be threatening, but I'd disagree with you. Being a target changes your perspective from one of "I'm invulnerableman, yay!" to one of constantly being on alert. All women are made into targets some time in their lives. And if they're successfully victimized, much of the time, the people around them turn around and blame them for it.
As one of my Facebook friends commented on this piece, "I've often wondered how I would handle feeling powerless and afraid. Especially regularly. I don't have any idea." This is the difference between what happens to women and "being oppressed by mean ladies who don't come on to me enough".
I'll go into the corner now and begin prying my foot from my mouth.