[2-15[12] I wish.

[Mr. Brightside]

after today I kinda needed something like this to cheer me up. Let me list my day here. If you're not interested, please feel free to skip this post.

Shit. All in one day - Valentine's Day? Holy hell.

[Captain LeBubbles]

As long as we're sharing...

A part of me understands where Lisa is coming from, if I am indeed interpreting correctly. No, I'm not saying I wish I was abused, or molested, or ill, or anything like that. But I have, at my lowest points, thought how much easier it would be. Fortunately, my brain is constantly divided between the intellect and the emotions, so even when I'm feeling at my lowest emotionally, the intellect side is pointing out why that's shit.

I have a lot of issues. Abandonment issues, trust issues, anger issues, and even mild paranoia. But I have no legitimate reason for any of those things. My parents were good parents. Sure, we've had our disagreements and I've never seen eye-to-eye with my dad, but they've always been there for me, or tried. They let me fight my own battles, but they were always there to step in the minute I needed them to. My mom always made it clear to me that I could talk to her about anything, and if there was something I didn't feel comfortable talking to her about, I had a support network of other people that I could go to. Teachers. Relatives. Neighbors. Parents of my friends. And yet despite all that, I still can't stop being afraid of people.

I had a dream last night. I was in a stadium, or something, and a friend of mine was on the ledge above the bleachers. I wanted to go up and sit with him for awhile, but the ladder was... kinda flimsy. It didn't look like it could hold my weight. But I wanted to try. I got up a few rungs, but then I realized I wouldn't be able to get from the ladder to the ledge without a little help, and the ladder acted like it was starting to give.

The people I was with were below me, and my friend was right there, waiting. I could have kept going, asked him to help pull me onto the ledge. He'd have caught me if I slipped. I like to think he would have. My other friends would have caught me if I'd fallen. I like to think they would have. But I climbed down, because I couldn't trust them. And yes, that was a dream, but that's how I feel constantly.

But I have no legitimate reason.

It's really hard to tell your friends that you're afraid that they're going to leave you one day, that you don't trust them to catch you if you fall. It's even harder when you can't tell them why. At least if you have a reason, you can tell them why. Make them understand. But if you don't understand yourself?

Sometimes you find yourself grasping at straws. Finding little things that might explain it. And all you come up with are flimsy excuses. Small, insignificant events that just make you feel more pathetic than you already do. Because if you've let those things affect you that much? You are pathetic. And that's even worse.

So yeah, sometimes it's easy to wish that you'd been abused. Molested. Ill. Bullied. Anything. Something that would make you feel less like a pathetic loser whose biggest problem is that you don't like your Am-Lit professor very much.

And I'm not saying Lisa's attitude is right. I'm just saying that I understand it.

I'm drinking water right now. Got a small headache so I'm avoiding anything with anything in it. But I'll raise my glass to you anyway. To all of you.

[Valerie]

Yeah, Cap'n. I can really see where you're coming from-- and, again, I've had times that I've wished for something bad to happen (instead of another bad thing that happened which was arguably not as bad). I was emotionally/verbally/financially abused all my life, plus neglected out the whozit. So, in a moment of insensitivity and serious anger/frustration at life, I said that I wish I'd been abandoned instead, not taking into account how painful it must be for someone to feel so unwanted.

Some people just have lower thresholds for it. I think that's what's going on with Lisa and that it also fits your situation.

Just because other people have larger problems doesn't mean that your problems aren't problems. Lisa has had a really bad day and has no idea how to handle it-- this is a new feeling to her that she doesn't completely understand, and she feels that she's being a baby for being upset about it, so she wants something worse to happen so that she can feel validated. Or she was like me and just had a seriously bad time, is frustrated with life, and said something stupid without thinking.

[Captain LeBubbles]

Slightly nitpicky, but could you not call me Cap'n? I know you've had nothing to go on, but that's like, the one variation I'm not crazy about. Captain, or preferably just 'Bubbles', will do fine, please and thanks?

Just. You know. In future.

Sorry.

[Valerie]

XD It's fine, Bubbles. But now you will always be a Power Puff Girl to me.

[Captain LeBubbles]

XD It's fine, Bubbles. But now you will always be a Power Puff Girl to me.

[Valerie]

XD It's fine, Bubbles. But now you will always be a Power Puff Girl to me.

Love yoooou...?

[Doc Harleen]

Hey Hexr, I'm so sorry to hear about what's been going on for you. That's really rough. <hugs>

[Captain LeBubbles]

XD It's fine, Bubbles. But now you will always be a Power Puff Girl to me.

(image)

(image)

Love yoooou...?

[Kamino Neko]

XD It's fine, Bubbles. But now you will always be a Power Puff Girl to me.

...

Can I be a PPG, too?

[Valerie]

Am I being too weird? You're new, I don't wanna scare you away from the forum.

Kamino: You get to be Blossom. I am clearly Buttercup.

[Captain LeBubbles]

Nah, you're good. Crappy MSPaint drawings is practically how I communicate.

[Kamino Neko]

Kamino: You get to be Blossom. I am clearly Buttercup.

But...Buttercup's my favourite. ;_; (Bah, I'll just be Powered Buttercup, then...she's even cooler.)

[NobodySpecial]

A glass to Otaking, Hexr, and the good Captain.

Side note, this is why I rarely talk about my troubles - I'm the guy without shoes, yeah, but there's a lot of people out there with legs gone below the knee.

[Captain LeBubbles]

A glass to Otaking, Hexr, and the good Captain.

Side note, this is why I rarely talk about my troubles - I'm the guy without shoes, yeah, but there's a lot of people out there with legs gone below the knee.

And I'm the guy with shoes whining about how they pinch my toes a little.

"B'awww, my shoes hurt my feet!"
"You have shoes? What's that like?"
"You have feet?"