Complete the Sentence II: Wal-Mart's Revenge of the Bacon!

[Alice Macher]

...kegs of finely-aged...

[Kamino Neko]

...formaldehyde - you know the ones we use for...

[Tamar]

...pouring libations to the dead on All Hallow's Eve, when Penny dresses like Aggie, Rob dresses like Cyndi (gah, BTW) and Lynda dresses like...

[Kamino Neko]

...Finister, while Nick dresses like me, and let's not even go into where that goes.' Charles shuddered. 'As if I would...

[Alice Macher]

...need glasses. I can see better than you humans, even in the *cough cough cough*..."

Lynda gave Charles a Vaseline cough drop, while Rob turned to Penny and Aggie. "What's up with this collar and leash? Don't you know you can get...

[Kamino Neko]

...harnesses made for humans down at...

[Alice Macher]

...Mal-Mart, the "adult" answer to Wal-Mart? Your mother and I have relied extensively on its fine goods to stock our 'playroom.' (That, and Home Creepot for our renovation needs.) But moving on: how'd you learn to talk, Charles?"

"Well," said Charles, "it all started at the Home for Wayward Cats when I met the famous feline...

[Kamino Neko]

...Odie...'

'But Odie's a dog!' Aggie tugged on Penny's leash when she interrupted. 'Sorry, Mistress.'

'Oh, makeup can do wonders. Everybody in Garfield is a cat. Except Jon. He's a gerbil-man.' Charles stroked his whiskers and continued. 'So, I met Odie, and...'

[Tamar]

...he taught me the secret art, passed down through the millenia from the Egyptian goddess Bast, of manipulating the vocal cords so as to automatically translate cat-sounds into human speech. And now that I can communicate with your species, I have one thing to say: Isn't it time for my dinner? And I haven't had any catnip treats in a while. Hop to it, servants."

Yes, power of speech or not, Charles was still a cat, with cat priorities. And a good thing, too, because otherwise he could have...

[Kamino Neko]

...spilled the horrible secret that lies beneath Belleville...

[Alice Macher]

...namely that the town is powered by a steaming, bubbling subterranean river of...

[Kamino Neko]

...souls, channelled from the next universe over, by...

[Tamar]

...the mage Carl Kristoffer I in 1783. Which may explain a lot about Cyndi and her...

[Kamino Neko]

...compulsion to devour the souls of others,' said the fourth wall, which had suddenly started talking.

'Oh, I thought that was just because she lacked one herself. Ow! Sorry mistress.' Penny bowed her head.

Aggie sniffed. 'I'm beginning to think you like...

[Alice Macher]

...talking fourth walls. I saw one in your bedroom too. I'm not sure whether a sentient wall able to watch and comment on our 'play' should creep me out or arouse me, so I'll flip...