I know. (11/7/12)

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I know. (11/7/12)

Postby Dagda » Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:18 pm

. . .I feel like this is the most interesting moment in the story to date, but it's been executed in a way that doesn't really make good on the potential.

It's hard to say precisely why. Two things stand out: Jo went from conflicted and stumbling over the reason, to reeling with that life-changing realization in the next panel, to totally cool and seductive in the very next panel after that (the first one in today's comic).

And second, something about the interaction in the last two panels. It feels like he should be turning to look over his shoulder in panel 4 instead of facing her directly? I can't articulate why/what that would represent, though. Also seems like his line in panel 4 might sit better with me if he'd said "with the way I think" after/instead of "with my mind"

I dunno. Maybe it's just a sequence that was a bit much for one day's comic. Pardon the backseat driving.
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Re: I know. (11/7/12)

Postby brasca » Wed Nov 07, 2012 11:33 pm

Even with his newfound abilities, having a woman he's fancied take a sudden interest in him is still likely to temporarily throw him off.
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