A number of years back at my alcoholic uncle's funeral:
Mom: "You and Donald always got along really well."
Me: "Yeah. He actually told me a long while back that he wanted to be cremated, but it's just as well we didn't, he was so soaked in alcohol he probably would've burned for a week."
Mom: "Oh my god! This is his FUNERAL, JOHNNY!"
Me: "Yeah, and YOU know he would've LOVED that joke."
The story's told, with facts and lies, I had a name... but never mind.