QUILTBAG: A Breakdown of the Acronym.

[Valerie]

Well, never mind the separate label fitting thread for me. I'll just call myself demicurious .

Wanna be demicurious with me?
Wait, what does that even mean?

Actually, I think a separate "what am I" thread would be a good idea, if enough people want it. It could help people figure things out if they have a spot to talk about it.

Of course, um, it seems I've started an epidemic. Most of the threads alive right now aren't even about the comic.

[Captain LeBubbles]

@NS: Konaa is just a baby s/he (sorry, think I missed the gender memo) probably hasn't had any actual sexytiems.

@Konaa: If it helps, I found out about asexuality when I was nineteen. My mom had seen a documentary on it, and passed the information on to me, said that some of the people interviewed had said some of the same things I had about sex that I had in the past. I looked it up, realized that it seemed to fit, and figured that would work. (This, incidentally, is one of the reasons it hurts so much that my mom took so long to understand my asexuality.) The concept of biromantic came to me independently, and for awhile I thought I had thought of it myself. I just knew that I had been attracted to people in the past, but I never even thought of having sex with them- when I imagined being with them, all my fantasies were romantic in nature, but not sexual. We never went past kissing, and that even rarely happened. At the time, I thought it was just because I didn't have a reference pool. While I knew plenty about the technicalities of sex, I had never seen a penis that wasn't in a textbook or on a statue. As I got more internet freedom I had much more access to reference pools and had more to go on- and I still don't have sexual fantasies. That's (part of) how I know I'm asexual- that, and I just, simply, don't want to have sex.

@whoever: I would be interested in a thread about figuring out what I am. I've got my sexual and romantic orientations pretty much sorted- I asexual, and I fluctuate between being aromantic and biromantic- I guess you could call me demiromantic?- but I've been considering my gender identity lately and what that means to me, and would love the opportunity to work it out with others.

[Lia S]

Well, never mind the separate label fitting thread for me. I'll just call myself demicurious .

Wanna be demicurious with me?
Wait, what does that even mean?

Maybe once I feel even more emotionally attached to you

What I mean by demicurious is that I think, act and feel quite similar to demisexual, but have to have a certain kind of experience to figure out whether or not the label truly fits me. I know I can be very attracted to people I already like and trust, especially when I know or think that they feel attracted to me. I also believe I would be perfectly happy in an asexual relationship, but haven't tried that. The thing I need to figure out is this: I know that I've internalized the idea that when you think someone is pretty and intellectually interesting and you really want to get to know them, that means you already feel attracted to that person. I'm really not sure if I do feel that, if I do, then I'm not demisexual, if I don't, then I am. In other words, I'm curious if my crushes really are squishes, and I'll probably figure that out when I have another one.

[Valerie]

Added Art's bit about how homosexual trans people are told they should have stayed as their assigned sex.

I'm a little unsure of my definitions of Queer, Questioning, and Unidentified/Undeclared. Any suggestions?

[Captain LeBubbles]

I'm not sure if this counts as a struggle or not, or if any of my fellow ace's feel the same way- guys, feel free to weigh in- but one thing I find really frustrating is having to adapt my mannerisms to a society that is very sexually oriented. Like, I'm very bendy, and my main use for this is being able to sit down comfortably for long periods of time (by rearranging myself into positions that, honestly, I shouldn't be able to), but when I mention being bendy to, well, anyone else their first reaction is the greater range of sexual positions I can perform. (And heaven forbid I mention that I'm double-jointed in certain places.) And that's really only one example- I think I've mentioned something along these lines before, in another thread. I do understand that sexual people are going to be sexually minded, especially if they're sexually active, but it can get frustrated if that's not the sort of thing you think about, and can also lead to really uncomfortable situations- I've had to train myself to realize whether what I'm about to say or do can be interpreted the wrong way, and that certainly doesn't help my people issues AT ALL.

Do any of you others ever feel that sort of frustration, or is it just me?

[Artemisia]

Well, sometimes even for those of us who are very sexual, the attitudes of people about sex can be frustrating. For instance, my view of sex is very gentle, soft and meant to be done slowly to give the greatest amount of connection with my partner, and to kind of intertwine. A lot of our culture treats sex as being very violent. You're suppose to go at it like rabbits and make it sort of like a competition to see how many orgasms and how fast your orgasms come along.

My first thought, though, when you said you were very bendy was. . .I wish I was too.

[Captain LeBubbles]

Well, sometimes even for those of us who are very sexual, the attitudes of people about sex can be frustrating. For instance, my view of sex is very gentle, soft and meant to be done slowly to give the greatest amount of connection with my partner, and to kind of intertwine. A lot of our culture treats sex as being very violent. You're suppose to go at it like rabbits and make it sort of like a competition to see how many orgasms and how fast your orgasms come along.

My first thought, though, when you said you were very bendy was. . .I wish I was too.

Yeah, I'm double-jointed in certain places, I have a slightly long, very agile tongue, I'm bendy, I have a busty, curvy figure, and a deep mouth. I can understand why my friend once joked that all of these traits are wasted on someone who isn't going to use them, but... I do use them (I can fit a whole ice cream cone in my mouth! :D) and it's a little unfair that people have decided the only use for any of these things is sex. I guess that was what I was trying to say? I don't know. I'm confusing myself.

edit: Okay, I just read through that and it sound like I'm saying "you just don't UNDERSTAND me", instead of whatever I actually meant. I'M NOT SAYING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, OKAY? D: Please don't take it the wrong way.

[Artemisia]

Captain,

I knew what you meant. I'm just not very flexible, and it's a pain in the tuckas. But, I understand a lot. There are a lot of people who can't believe that I'm a virgin at 37, or that I have such odd views about sex. I know how it can be alright to be teased for a bit, but then, after a while, it gets kind of tiring.

[Captain LeBubbles]

You're 37? :o You looked much younger in your picture.

[Artemisia]

Yes, I'm 37, and I look about a decade younger than that. I'm barely greying at the temple, in fact.

[Lia S]

Thanks Bubbles, now I'm wondering what kind of positions require being bendy in unmentionable places, and I don't really want to know.

But seriously, that must be really annoying and makes me happy my own body doesn't make people go "hee hee hee sex hee hee hee". *hugs*

Artemisia, I think I remember you saying you're about 20 years older than me. You're not, I'm 29. Also, I couldn't agree more.

[Captain LeBubbles]

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO OLD?

[Alice Macher]

LIttle do they know, of course, that us "young" folks on the forum are older than we appear. We're FBI/RCMP/Scotland Yard/etc. agents!

Just like in this old Search Engine Funnies comic by T.

[Artemisia]

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO OLD?

Well, remember something, physically, I'm 37 (and Lia, I thought you were much younger!), but I am mentally closer to 14/16. A lot of trans and intersex people have a tendency to have a retarded (legitimate use of this term, just so everyone knows) emotional and social development. It takes a long while for us to grow up properly. Besides, physical age is just a number. . .I mean, I can write very well from a 14-year-old's perspective because I'm still kind of child-like. Heck, right now, I'm reading Ranma 1/2 and loving it Oh, and watching MLP;FiM My cousin, who just had a baby and is like 35, still is fairly immature.

[Lia S]

Of course we're only as old as we act...

After writing that I was tempted to add dirty words in white tiny font...