Trefle wrote:Bardlp wrote:Yikes. I'm going to assume by #2 that you're young or at least running with a "fairly new to being gay" crowd. The new ones tend to cling to the stereotypes a lot harder than the old queens. I know I did. I think that's partly because a lot of us are still trying to appeal to some of the society we're rejecting when we come out.
Pretty old, actually (have been admitting my own sexuality since around Popsicle Wars). But I admit my experience to my local gay community are fairly new (oh: it's not in US, btw.) Right now I'm pretty comfortable with myself. But seeing others; the enthusiasm and the-- almost religious way they hold onto their topness or bottomness.....is quite a shocking thing. Though I understand your reasoning too.
Not to mention the close distance to their closets, but that's another thing entirely.Alice Macher wrote:I read someone's blog post (don't remember which blog) some months ago, discussing how some of his male friends over a number of years, when they first came out as gay, rather abruptly and awkwardly took on camp mannerisms and language ("Oh, honey") despite never having gestured or spoken that way before. It was, he said, as if they assumed they had to go camp in order to be gay properly.
Oh yes, seen it; been there, done that.
In my situation it was what you said.
In my observation it was the opposite; the people try to hold strictly to the 'male' gender role and act / boasted their 'masculinity' and 'manliness' and belittles the 'feminine, sissy' gays.
My biggest problem is those stereotypes. Before I knew about all of these expectations of what I'm suppose to be as a lesbian, I was happy and didn't really care that I swung from being fairly femme to sort of butch. Then again, when I came out in Georgia, I was pretty much told to either be butch or don't bother showing up. I chose not to show up.