(TangentialTopic) Fauxmosexual?

[Artemisia]

I did notice there was a bad joke. Often the best thing to do after a bad joke is to ignore it (which also is a way to express disapproval). If someone else had commented that the joke was funny, that would have been the right time to say "no, that isn't funny".

What Tamar said, including the high-five for Ollie.

But while I'm at it, I wonder what an "überfeminazi" (please note the correct spelling of über) is. Is it, like, a higher rank of feminazi? Do I earn it after I burn enough bras or something?

Not bras. Men.

I'm quite disappointed to see the term "feminazi" on these forums, comparing feminists to nazis means saying that those who want to end oppression of both men and women are really the oppressors. But I have a feeling we won't see it again.

Lia, I agree entirely. I was just going to ignore the joke. It was horrible, and I find that making a fuss about something often leads to problems rather than solving them. Sure, if someone makes a habit of doing things like constantly call something, say, sexual molestation when it isn't, or constantly makes jokes about beating people- well, THEN I will comment.

Oh, and even though I'm uncomfortable with men. . .I still don't recommend burning them.

[Zanosuke Kurosaki]

Oh, and even though I'm uncomfortable with men. . .I still don't recommend burning them.

Good tactic. We're all too full of crap, and it tends to not burn very well anyway.

[Artemisia]

Oh, and even though I'm uncomfortable with men. . .I still don't recommend burning them.

Good tactic. We're all too full of crap, and it tends to not burn very well anyway.

That, and you're too soggy.

[NobodySpecial]

Hmmm, somehow I managed to miss that my attempted joke lost the funny somewhere around the filleting knife. My sincere apologies. I'm just a really really insensitive bastard when it comes to humor. A personal anecdote, if I may.

I've got a coworker who I've been spending five nights a week with while my other coworker is with his brother in London. She's a sweet gal, but as she describes it, she has a problem with having to 'put on the cape' and save someone from a bad situation. Evidently she did that on Saturday night, when she traded blows with some drunken woman who had knocked her friend down. Needless to say, it didn't show on Saturday, but by Sunday night when I worked with her, she had a pretty good bruise on her leftside jawline and the beginnings of a black eye where the swelling had gone halfway up her face.

Most of the customers assume her boyfriend hit her. At one point, though, at about the fiftieth person asking 'Who did that to you?', I decided it was time to joke.

So I said in a loud voice, 'I did it, and now she learned!'.

Needless to say, everyone looked on in horror except for Rikki, who then fell off her chair laughing - because she knows 1) I don't take anything seriously, and 2) My sense of humor is so dark it absorbs heat from the surrounding area.

Again, though, my apologies. I'll try and remember my audience.

[Trefle]

Again, though, my apologies. I'll try and remember my audience.

If I may chime in and offer a feedback, I think as much as the audience affects the reception, the situation also has a huge effect.

From my (obviously flawed) PoV; Both in the topic and the anecdote you gave, there are real, concrete problems; with some insinuations of something more serious and complex, if not tragic and severe, happening. Your responses, while not personally offending nor malicious, can be seen as... glossing over; dismissing the subtext and context and the seriousness of the matter entirely. At best it's funny. At worst, it's rude and tactless.

So..yeah.

[Valerie]

He's apologized. We can leave it there.

T, thank you for banning the moron that was harassing Ollie. You're a good admin.

Ollie, I think it sucks that people were telling you to get over it. I get the same treatment a lot IRL, like when my boss decided to tell a date rape joke with me standing right there. NS's comment was a little graphic for me, too.

NS, thank you for being a big enough person to apologize. I'm positive that offense wasn't your intention, but it's great to see someone own up to their words and take responsibility.

I know I'm a little late, but I felt the need to comment after reading.

[NobodySpecial]

NS, thank you for being a big enough person to apologize. I'm positive that offense wasn't your intention, but it's great to see someone own up to their words and take responsibility.

I know I'm a little late, but I felt the need to comment after reading.

If one adjective describes me, I think 'big' is a pretty accurate one. A second might be 'round'.

[Trefle]

As it should be.

*waits for OP*

[Ollie]

I did notice there was a bad joke. Often the best thing to do after a bad joke is to ignore it (which also is a way to express disapproval). If someone else had commented that the joke was funny, that would have been the right time to say "no, that isn't funny".

While I wasn't planning on commenting here further, since the matter seems to have been settled, I want to comment on this part. I disagree.

If this interaction were to take place in meat space, that may be the case, but silence after a comment on a forum doesn't have to be taken any way since no instant reaction is expected. Oftentimes, no matter the place, silence = tolerance, and tolerating something is really just encouraging that thing to continue. In this case, the comedian in question didn't realize it was inappropriate, but now he does.
Even though there's no official stance on forum politics (and I don't think there should be), it seems pretty obvious at this point that The Tea Room is something of a progressive space, and while I won't suggest stomping on anyone who makes an off-color comment, like T said, it doesn't quite suit the atmosphere here.

[Lia S]

Ignoring something is a type of tolerance, yes, but not a very strong type of it. Tolerance is a good thing, if only because I have better uses for my time than to comment on everything that doesn't make me laugh.

I disagree that tolerance by ignoring encourages bad jokes. Most people won't make another similar joke before someone has laughed (those who do are usually told to stop after the third or fourth). Also, these forums are quite active. If a joke gets no response at all for a day or two, you know it wasn't very funny.

There's also the difference between a bad joke and a BAD joke. "If someone is bothering you, kill them and make the body disappear" is a reaaaally old joke that was never funny because murder isn't funny, but I'm sure all the times I saw/heard it the joker didn't actually support murder. If the joke had for example contained the word "bitch" it would have been different, that would have shown there was a certain bad ideology behind the joke.

[Valerie]

I can't speak for Ollie, but it was more the graphic detail of the joke than the basic idea of it, at least for me. And I have to take Ollie's side regarding whether to ignore or to call out a joke. Telling someone that he or she did something wrong is the only way to let him or her know that he or she should stop. I've recently had this issue at work, with male coworkers (my boss included) telling sexist jokes, including one about date rape. I asked them to stop. They didn't until I got another owner involved, but they never would have if I'd stayed quiet.

[Lia S]

There's a difference between making one bad joke once and making many bad jokes.

Also, I know I make mistakes that I become aware of after a while and then try to correct. I'm happy people have some patience and don't immediately tell me off every time I do something stupid.

In a situation where the joke had been appropriate the graphic detail would have made it funnier for me.

[Bardlp]

They called their act The Aristocrats! *flamenco snap*