The unofficial bad day thread.

[Freemage]

Val: Okay, you're living with her, which makes it difficult to make demands. I recommend this:

1: Go here. Find one that has good reviews, and is within your viable budget. If it's one that you can afford multiples of, even better.

2: Stress that you appreciate that she opened her home to you, and that you know it's not your place to make demands. That said, you'd like to find an accommodation, particularly for days when the windows can't be opened because of the weather. Offer to acquire the ashtrays, if she'll agree to use them. Get as many as you can afford, and place them around the house in places where she likes to sit and smoke.

3: Assuming this tack is successful, your next step will be to help out around the house, a LOT. Specifically, you're going to be doing a fair bit of laundry, even of the drapes and bedcovers. Don't say exactly why you're doing it; just try to get as much of the 'old smoke' smell out as you can. It probably won't all fade, ever--there's a serious lingering power that comes from constant exposure. But it CAN be mitigated, and so long as you're not taking an aggressive stance about it, it will simply come across as you being a helpful and dutiful granddaughter.

[Valerie]

Have you tried talking to her? I know people can be stubborn and if my shift supervisor is any indication, older people refuse to accept that it's unhealthy ("Oh, whoever heard of someone dying from second-hand smoke?" OH I DUNNO, HOW ABOUT ALL THE SCIENTISTS WHO LOOKED AROUND AND SAID HMM, WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE GETTING LUNG CANCER? AND DID THE RESEARCH?), but maybe she doesn't quite realize what she's doing?

In short, I would love to have some kind of law that says smoking around a non-smoker in a closed environment, particularly one they don't have the option to leave, is assault- because that's what it is. Kill your lungs all you want to, that's your decision, but I choose to have mine in-tact and healthy, and that's my decision.

Yeah, we tried talking to her a few times, but she just always got defensive. She does things like tell you how bad canola oil is for you while she is smoking.

Valerie, I give you a Super Soaker and a hug.

Trying to get me wet? Or... trying to make me... get my grandma... ewww.

-awesome ideas-

We are broker than broke right now, otherwise that all would have been awesome advice.

Okay, so, I haven't died from lung cancer yet, 'cause the night that I wrote that post, I got all, "FUCK THIS I'M GOING TO GO ACROSS THE STREET I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S NO BACK DOOR ON THE HOUSE I CAN BREATHE THERE." And then my husband was like, "You are not going over there alone this time of night, missy. ...Let me get my slippers."

(For those who don't know every detail of my life, my dad has a very run-down house that he's going to let us stay in, across the street from my grandma. So far, we have the bedroom finished. After this "I can't deal with the smoke anymore" ordeal, we've gotten the back door up and the bathroom half-functional, and we now pretty much live here. Who needs a kitchen when you can have fresh air, right?)

[Kamino Neko]

(For those who don't know every detail of my life, my dad has a very run-down house that he's going to let us stay in, across the street from my grandma. So far, we have the bedroom finished. After this "I can't deal with the smoke anymore" ordeal, we've gotten the back door up and the bathroom half-functional, and we now pretty much live here. Who needs a kitchen when you can have fresh air, right?)

Yays! Kitchens are totes not needed.

[Lia S]

Valerie, I give you a Super Soaker and a hug.

Trying to get me wet?

Valerie! Behave! I wouldn't need a toy for that

[Valerie]

Valerie, I give you a Super Soaker and a hug.

Trying to get me wet?

Valerie! Behave! I wouldn't need a toy for that

Ooh~! <3

[Lia S]

Valerie, I give you a Super Soaker and a hug.

Trying to get me wet?

Valerie! Behave! I wouldn't need a toy for that

Ooh~! <3

A bucket of water will do

[Adrishiana]

I got my taxes done today, and I owe money.

The owing is not a surprise, nor is the amount, so I was prepared for it, but it still kind of makes me want to make a little boat out of a dollar bill and hold a Viking funeral for my savings account in the bathtub. Sort of the opposite of what Danielle Liss did here, now that I think about it!

tl;dr: kind of sulky over an entirely foreseen, generally prepared event.

(And yes, I'm handling things in a way this year so that Taxtime 2013 will be a little less psychologically painful. Assuming the world doesn't end in December.)

Silver lining: the local United Way has volunteer tax pros that will do your taxes for free if you make under a certain amount, and while I was perfectly capable of doing my own taxes when I got W-2s, doing them when you're an independent contractor is a bit more complicated! (While there are many things I am willing to risk screwing up, my taxes are not one of them.) They do my taxes, I give them a donation that is still quite a bit less than what I would have to pay H&R Block, everyone wins.

[CJ]

This will sound like the dumbest thing ever, and like it shouldn't even be in this thread.

I had a big interview today. I applied for a position in Wisconsin (I reside in Maryland) back in January when I decided to hit the "Reset" button on my life. I have been going through the interview process for the past two months (interviews, tests, all sorts of things), and so now I came up for a brief orientation of the facility, what my job might be, as well as a couple more interviews and give a presentation of my choice.

I have also within the past month started a relationship with someone who I am really happy with, someone who I liked way back in the day, and I honestly think is a great match for me. And works in Maryland.

So I decided I was going to go into this interview and hate it. I read up a couple of scary things regarding the company, and I was just going to see the bs for myself.

I loved it. I love the environment, I loved the look, and the job looks right up my alley--teaching adults something technically related. It seems like the perfect job.

But I really, really don't want to leave Maryland. I took a big risk in the first place when I left North Carolina to find a teaching position in Maryland, and now I don't want to leave my friends and family again. Especially my new boyfriend. And I realize we've been dating for barely a month, and two of those weeks he's been in another country for work, but we're losing our minds of this because we really think that this relationship could totally work. And it's too young to try long distance or something ridiculous now.

I mean, I might not get the job but...to be totally honest I am pretty convinced I'll get the job. I killed my interviews and my presentation. And they need people for that position (and of the 15 or so candidates they saw today, I was the only one in for that position).

It seems like a simple solution. I should take the job (if offered). That is logically the best choice. I could always find someone else later. Or try the long distance thing. Or something.

But it doesn't feel right. He and I were crying about it earlier on skype (he's been out of the country for 13 days as of today, which makes it harder), and I feel like there is no right solution. I have to take a chance, and both choices have major disadvantages. Well, on major disadvantage.

And I have no other leads for work. At all. Anywhere.

[Doc Harleen]

This will sound like the dumbest thing ever, and like it shouldn't even be in this thread.

I had a big interview today. I applied for a position in Wisconsin (I reside in Maryland) back in January when I decided to hit the "Reset" button on my life. I have been going through the interview process for the past two months (interviews, tests, all sorts of things), and so now I came up for a brief orientation of the facility, what my job might be, as well as a couple more interviews and give a presentation of my choice.

I have also within the past month started a relationship with someone who I am really happy with, someone who I liked way back in the day, and I honestly think is a great match for me. And works in Maryland.

So I decided I was going to go into this interview and hate it. I read up a couple of scary things regarding the company, and I was just going to see the bs for myself.

I loved it. I love the environment, I loved the look, and the job looks right up my alley--teaching adults something technically related. It seems like the perfect job.

But I really, really don't want to leave Maryland. I took a big risk in the first place when I left North Carolina to find a teaching position in Maryland, and now I don't want to leave my friends and family again. Especially my new boyfriend. And I realize we've been dating for barely a month, and two of those weeks he's been in another country for work, but we're losing our minds of this because we really think that this relationship could totally work. And it's too young to try long distance or something ridiculous now.

I mean, I might not get the job but...to be totally honest I am pretty convinced I'll get the job. I killed my interviews and my presentation. And they need people for that position (and of the 15 or so candidates they saw today, I was the only one in for that position).

It seems like a simple solution. I should take the job (if offered). That is logically the best choice. I could always find someone else later. Or try the long distance thing. Or something.

But it doesn't feel right. He and I were crying about it earlier on skype (he's been out of the country for 13 days as of today, which makes it harder), and I feel like there is no right solution. I have to take a chance, and both choices have major disadvantages. Well, on major disadvantage.

And I have no other leads for work. At all. Anywhere.

I totally get where you are coming from, CJ, and it's not thread-inappropriate at all. Just because you've been waiting for something doesn't mean that it's a good thing if it comes around at the wrong time. I really hope that whatever happens, you get to be happy. In the meantime, I'm sending you hugs.

[Black Cat Godess]

CJ, I think that's something that does belong in this thread. As awesome as a new job is, picking up and leaving behind someone you really care about is hard. However, don't let that ruin what could be a good opportunity, for both you and your boyfriend.

Long distance can work. My boyfriend and I are living proof of that. We've been living together for two years after being long distance for 4 and we've made it through all the bumps in between. There have been others in this thread who've mentioned making long distance work as well. When would this new job start, should you get it? I assume they would give you time to find a place there, move, and then get on the job. That's also not taking into account the time it would take for them to get back to you saying you HAVE the job in the first place. Take that time and talk seriously with your boyfriend. See what you guys are willing to do in that situation, living visiting each other. My parents, when my mom was in Virginia and my dad in Pennsylvania, would see each other very regularly because my dad would often make the drive down to see her over a weekend. Keep in mind that this was when they were dating, long before I was even a thought in their heads. I think the drive from Maryland to Wisconsin is a bit longer than from PA to VA, but again, it's something to talk about. Skype conversations, particularly video, can also make things more bearable. There are many ways out there to make a long distance relationship work and, more importantly, last. Don't forget, there is the possibly of him moving with you, if there's a job in his area out there. I wouldn't suggest that you do that first thing, but maybe after you've been there awhile and you guys have gotten very serious.

Basically, from what I know of the situation, seriously consider taking the job if they offer it, but talk it over more with your boyfriend so you can both nail down what you're comfortable with. I think the long distance can work for you, but I'm coming from a huge selection bias. :/ I may not be the best person to reply on this, now that I think about it....

[CJ]

I know I can handle long distance. Of the seven guys I've dated, two were "long distance" (separate counties when we were in high school without driver's licenses) and two others were legitimately long distance.

But I'm worried because we've been dating a month, and so we haven't quite build a solid relationship. We're taking our time, we we're being patient, because we really want this to work.

I should hear from them in a week or two.

I don't know when I'd start, but it would be the first Monday of whatever month it is. (It's a thing they do.)

[Captain LeBubbles]

Okay so here's the thing.

My mom woke me up this morning to tell me my aunt (my dad's oldest (???) sister) is in the hospital after having multiple heart attacks. Without surgery, she'll die, but if she has the surgery... she'll probably die. So it's basically a waiting game, and no one bothered to tell me about it yesterday. Mom was surprised. I wasn't, no one ever tells me anything.

Anyway, my parents have gone up to Savannah to see her and be with her in the end. I didn't go. I can't handle hospitals. And I can't handle my parents right now, either. You'd think that after almost thirty-three years together, and the loss of both of his parents, two of his brothers, one of his sisters, two of his best friends, and his favorite uncle, mom would know the way dad's acting (the way he always acts), isn't him being an inconsiderate dick, it's just him dealing the way he knows how to deal. Unfortunately, mom needs comfort that dad isn't able to give her and dad needs someone to take charge in a way that mom can't. And I can't handle either of them when they're like this, which means the last time I'll see my aunt is the family reunion back in October. I think I spoke to her. My family's too big, I can't keep track of these things.

I'm okay, honestly. She's got so many kids and grandkids of her own that she won't even notice. And mom'll tell her, she'll understand.

I'm mostly just worried about my dad. Mom'll be fine, she handles loss like a pro. Dad has trouble with it. And this sister is so much older than him that she was grown by the time he was born, she did just as much raising of him as his parents did.

I know not all of you are religious, but those of you who are, it'd mean a lot to me if you could keep my family in your prayers tonight. Okay?

[Zanosuke Kurosaki]

it'd mean a lot to me if you could keep my family in your prayers tonight. Okay?

Can and will, madam. I hope your aunt is lucky enough to either make a recovery from the surgery, or to not suffer if it goes all pear-shaped. *offers hug*

[Captain LeBubbles]

it'd mean a lot to me if you could keep my family in your prayers tonight. Okay?

Can and will, madam. I hope your aunt is lucky enough to either make a recovery from the surgery, or to not suffer if it goes all pear-shaped. *offers hug*

Last I'd heard they'd decided not to risk the surgery. We're just waiting now, and they're trying to keep her comfortable in the meantime.

[svenman]

Captain LeBubbles, my best wishes go out to you and your family.

Yeah. *clears throat* Um.

Got the news yesterday about my aunt who's been battling with cancer.

They found new metastases in various organs, and some of the others that were already known have not responded to treatment as it had been hoped.

Sh*t.