9/02/11 - We're slowing down after this one

[Zanosuke Kurosaki]

How did Michelle's parents mess up? They obviously loved her like crazy. Yes, her skinniness should have registered with them sooner, but that's the "familiarity" thing coming into play. Unless you're paying attention, it gets a little too easy to overlook changes in someone you see every day. Perfect example: I once shaved my facial hair (a van dyke), and it took my friends, who saw me 4 out of 7 days a week, a few hours that day to figure out that I'd shaved. XD

[IS_Wolf]

I'd put Penny and Lisa in that group as well. Especially considering how challenging they both were (for different reasons, obviously.)

Point about Penny..
Lisa the verdict is still out, if she hasn't become a cyber-terrorist and ringleader of Anonymous since we last saw her.

Yeah, for some reason those two slipped my mind there, thanks for the reminder.

How did Michelle's parents mess up? They obviously loved her like crazy. Yes, her skinniness should have registered with them sooner, but that's the "familiarity" thing coming into play. Unless you're paying attention, it gets a little too easy to overlook changes in someone you see every day. Perfect example: I once shaved my facial hair (a van dyke), and it took my friends, who saw me 4 out of 7 days a week, a few hours that day to figure out that I'd shaved. XD

Could just be my memory, but seem to recall something about her homelife being anything from perfect/idyllic either.
Which kinda opened up the door for the whole self-esteem problem.

Wasn't so much the family income thing, that much I do seem to remember. (and too lazy to archive dive at this point)

[Valerie]

Wasn't so much the family income thing, that much I do seem to remember. (and too lazy to archive dive at this point)

From what I remember, Michelle's mom seems to be a stay-at-home parent, and her dad is in publishing "blooks," which I guess are blogs in book-form. Apparently, it's not a very profitable business.

As a person who was raised in actual poverty, I refuse to call Michelle's family poor. That said, considering she attends (attended, at this point) a private school that requires tuition with a lot of upper-middle-class/upper-class kids, that's more or less how she would be seen by comparison.

Of course, it may be worth noting that I attended a Catholic school and was in school with a bunch of upper-middle-class kids, so I totally get how Michelle feels, even if I still refuse to say her family is that bad-off.

Also, how weird is it that poverty is the sort of thing that one can wear with pride in the right situations?

[Kamino Neko]

The main problem with Michelle's dad (at least from what I can remember) is he's a dreamer whose dreams consistently failed to materialize

Beyond that he's always been shown as a loving, and at least when she was younger, attentive (if not observant) father. And, yeah, despite the financial problems his constant dream-fails caused, he was clearly able to support the family in at least a vaguely comfortable lifestyle.

[Valerie]

The main problem with Michelle's dad (at least from what I can remember) is he's a dreamer whose dreams consistently failed to materialize

Beyond that he's always been shown as a loving, and at least when she was younger, attentive (if not observant) father. And, yeah, despite the financial problems his constant dream-fails caused, he was clearly able to support the family in at least a vaguely comfortable lifestyle.

I don't think he necessarily did anything wrong, but it is pretty easy to see how Michelle feels left behind.
If Daddy cared, he would make more money. (That actually is a mindset in a lot of places, right or wrong.)

Even if she does feel that her dad genuinely cares about her, finances are still a pretty touchy subject, so some resentment would make sense.

[oenone]

The main problem with Michelle's dad (at least from what I can remember) is he's a dreamer whose dreams consistently failed to materialize

Beyond that he's always been shown as a loving, and at least when she was younger, attentive (if not observant) father. And, yeah, despite the financial problems his constant dream-fails caused, he was clearly able to support the family in at least a vaguely comfortable lifestyle.

I don't think he necessarily did anything wrong, but it is pretty easy to see how Michelle feels left behind.
If Daddy cared, he would make more money. (That actually is a mindset in a lot of places, right or wrong.)

Even if she does feel that her dad genuinely cares about her, finances are still a pretty touchy subject, so some resentment would make sense.

I don't think it was JUST the finances though -- the thing about ED and depression is that they make it easy to believe incredibly toxic self-fulfilling prophecies. Part of it might also have been, "If Daddy cared, he'd notice what I was/wasn't eating (even though I'm trying to hide that very thing), If Daddy cared, he'd notice how thin/pretty/pure I am (even though if he did I know he'd worried and would force me to eat)." The other thing is, those kinds of dynamics don't just develop over night -- here, you see that it's easy for Michelle to deflect conversations away from herself:
http://www.pennyandaggie.com/index.php?p=765

here, there's an incredibly direct conversation -- that her parents are absent for, until the VERY end
http://www.pennyandaggie.com/index.php?p=770

Has anyone else read Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson? I'm gonna post a link to an excerpt here

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=59519719584

The above link may be triggering for ED.