Bad Ending

[Valerie]

It turns out Penny is magic, and an alien race needs her to fight in a galactic war against their enemies. She is initially reluctant, so she gets chased around by alien clones of herself. Finally, she gives up and goes. Aggie misses her so much that she becomes a drunken wreck, until a magic lesbian uses a portal in a waterfall to send her onto the alien planet.

…did I mention the genderless baby? I think I did…

I love you.

[sgtrock]

Aggie wakes up suddenly. Every single moment of every strip but the first couple has just been a very long, detailed (and unbeknownst to her, but knownst to us, 100% accurate and prophetic) dream she's been having. She has to live through all of it again, but this time with the vaguely annoying feeling that she's done this before.

Yeah. But by the twentieth or thirtieth run through, she gets really awesome at it.

But where's the poker game where everybody gets 3 of a kind?

[Zanosuke Kurosaki]

Aggie wakes up suddenly. Every single moment of every strip but the first couple has just been a very long, detailed (and unbeknownst to her, but knownst to us, 100% accurate and prophetic) dream she's been having. She has to live through all of it again, but this time with the vaguely annoying feeling that she's done this before.

Yeah. But by the twentieth or thirtieth run through, she gets really awesome at it.

But where's the poker game where everybody gets 3 of a kind?

I was just shooting for "endless loop and there is *no* way out, because I'm a sadistic, evil bastard", but so far that's Groundhog Day and Star Trek that have attempted to puncture my dreams...

[Louisa]

The entire "Last Summer of Youth" storyline is in fact a webcomic-within-a-webcomic. Namely, it's a webcomic drawn by Marshall. Still upset over what happened with Karen, he's decided that making Penny and Aggie net-famous as lesbian cartoon pornstars is the best way to get revenge on them - since they did Karen's makeover, it was all their fault, right? Also, as Charisma's not going to be financially supporting him at college, he needs his own source of income... and hey, lesbian sex sells.

This strip was a hint. Turns out that the first 3 panels are in fact a close-up of what he's drawing in the last panel.

[jk9000]

Aggie wakes up suddenly. Every single moment of every strip but the first couple has just been a very long, detailed (and unbeknownst to her, but knownst to us, 100% accurate and prophetic) dream she's been having. She has to live through all of it again, but this time with the vaguely annoying feeling that she's done this before.

Yeah. But by the twentieth or thirtieth run through, she gets really awesome at it.

But where's the poker game where everybody gets 3 of a kind?

I was just shooting for "endless loop and there is *no* way out, because I'm a sadistic, evil bastard", but so far that's Groundhog Day and Star Trek that have attempted to puncture my dreams...

Something's wrong. That's what it felt like, anyway. The game on TV was between schools from another town. Aggie had nothing to do with either school, but because she tended to sympathize with underdogs, she found herself rooting for the losing team. And it was right about then that she suddenly got a feeling Penny was going to call...

(I might have breached obscurity regulations with that reference)

[CrankyViking]

We stand near the edge of the end, with only the coda left to wrap things up.

So, I ask you, while there is still time for wild speculation: what is the worst possible way this whole thing could turn out?

Rocks fall, everybody dies.

[justvisiting]

Wow we're talking bad endings and no one has brought up Hamlet?

Isn't this more of a MacBeth comic?

As long as it's not Titus Andronicus.

[Freemage]

Aggie wakes up suddenly. Every single moment of every strip but the first couple has just been a very long, detailed (and unbeknownst to her, but knownst to us, 100% accurate and prophetic) dream she's been having. She has to live through all of it again, but this time with the vaguely annoying feeling that she's done this before.

Yeah. But by the twentieth or thirtieth run through, she gets really awesome at it.

I had a feeling I'd have to add in a clause of "She just gets the feeling she's done it before, but never actively remembers it." Stupid Groundhog Day Loops, giving people ideas that take away the impact of my sadistic thoughts...

Go with Vonnegut's Timequake, then. Everyone remembers everything from the first time through, but that's at the 'mind' level--the brain still operates on the same biochemical processes it did the first time around. So everyone is a sort of robot trapped in their own body, watching history unfold again, KNOWING what's coming next, but completely unable to stop it.

So, Penny befriends Karen, knowing exactly where it will lead, as does Aggie. Karen mounts her whole plan, even though the entire Injustice Gang knows perfectly well that Meg's the only one to emerge mostly unscathed. People at the last party EAT THE POPSICLES that Cyndi tainted, knowing they're laced with laxatives. Stan and Brandi get increasingly close, even though they both know he's going to betray her at the debate--and he knows exactly what trap Cyndi has laid, but can't avert it. Penny, Sara and Aggie all know where Lisa's really getting the camera from, but are unable to speak up and avoid any complicating obligations that might arise.

Oh, and after years of their minds being able to let their bodies run on autopilot, suddenly they hit the point of the timequake and are 'in control' again, experiencing reality and uncertainty for the first time in years.

That, sir, is sadism on a massive scale.

[mindstalk]

This strip was a hint. Turns out that the first 3 panels are in fact a close-up of what he's drawing in the last panel.

Genius. Evil genius.

[Rebhel]

Wow we're talking bad endings and no one has brought up Hamlet?

Isn't this more of a MacBeth comic?

As long as it's not Titus Andronicus.

Although I like Titus as an adult, that is the one Shakespeare play that made me too scared to go to sleep as a child.

That said, yes, it would truly be a horror. Who would be fed to who though?

[MeganKoumori]

TWENTY YEARS INTO THE FUTURE:

Nick sits at his table drinking his morning coffee. He thinks about how proud he is of Aggie: First mayor of Belleville, then state senator. She led the fight in getting the Federal Government to recognize gay marriage...and she won. People already want her to run for president.

She's married to Penny. They have three daughters, adopted from Ethiopia, China, and Haiti. Their first is named Melody.

Yes, Nick thinks as he finishes his coffee and heads to the basement. He's certainly proud of Aggie.

Too bad I can't be as proud of myself...He thinks, lifting the freezer lid to reveal Marshall and Charisma's frozen corpses.

Last panel: A video of T pointing at the audience making this noise.

[Valerie]

TWENTY YEARS INTO THE FUTURE:

Nick sits at his table drinking his morning coffee. He thinks about how proud he is of Aggie: First mayor of Belleville, then state senator. She led the fight in getting the Federal Government to recognize gay marriage...and she won. People already want her to run for president.

She's married to Penny. They have three daughters, adopted from Ethiopia, China, and Haiti. Their first is named Melody.

Yes, Nick thinks as he finishes his coffee and heads to the basement. He's certainly proud of Aggie.

Too bad I can't be as proud as myself...He thinks, lifting the freezer lid to reveal Marshall and Charisma's frozen corpses.

Last panel: A video of T pointing at the audience making this noise.

May I please add you to my list of husbands/wives? <3

[maritza]

Everybody ends up sleeping with Stan, LICD style. Final panel of the comic is his smarmy face saying "you gotta dazzle 'em! you gotta play the game or the game plays you! this is show-business!"

[sgtrock]

TWENTY YEARS INTO THE FUTURE:

Nick sits at his table drinking his morning coffee. He thinks about how proud he is of Aggie: First mayor of Belleville, then state senator. She led the fight in getting the Federal Government to recognize gay marriage...and she won. People already want her to run for president.

She's married to Penny. They have three daughters, adopted from Ethiopia, China, and Haiti. Their first is named Melody.

Yes, Nick thinks as he finishes his coffee and heads to the basement. He's certainly proud of Aggie.

Too bad I can't be as proud as myself...He thinks, lifting the freezer lid to reveal Marshall and Charisma's frozen corpses.

Last panel: A video of T pointing at the audience making this noise.

May I please add you to my list of husbands/wives? <3

At this rate you're going to need the Hearst mansion to house them all!

[Kamino Neko]

Although I like Titus as an adult, that is the one Shakespeare play that made me too scared to go to sleep as a child.

Th'hell let you watch/read Titus as a kid?!