Complete the Sentence II: Wal-Mart's Revenge of the Bacon!

[retrophrenologist]

...gerbil-men, who lived...

...in a fourth floor walk-up in Boston, downstairs from Helen (remember her?), who...

[Ozaline]

...gerbil-men, who lived...

...in a fourth floor walk-up in Boston, downstairs from Helen (remember her?), who...

really resented the fact that this run on sentance was trying to live it's life vicariously through her. So she decided to...

[Kamino Neko]

...kill it with Strunk & White. Unfortunately, she didn't know it was a book, and...

[Alice Macher]

...hired two of the gerbil-men, whose names happened to be Strunk and White, to kill the sentence. "Sorry, can't be done," they said, "but as we are duly-appointed Texas judges, we can sentence someone to be killed. Has to be a person, though." So Helen chose...

[Kamino Neko]

...them. When they begged her to take back that name, she agreed, if...

[Tamar]

...they sentenced her dad instead. But when they appeared before Mr. Tomalin and said, "Gaze into the face of Gerbil!", he answered, "Gaze into the...

[Ozaline]

...they sentenced her dad instead. But when they appeared before Mr. Tomalin and said, "Gaze into the face of Gerbil!", he answered, "Gaze into the...

Abyss, for when you do it looks back at you." So gaze they did and when the abyss looked back it said...

[Alice Macher]

..."I wuuuuv you!"

"Huh, didn't expect that from an abyss," said the gerbil-men. "Nonetheless, we are now so full of love at the moment we can't find it in our hearts to sentence you. So long, partner!"

Mr. Tomalin then went to Boston to yell at Helen for trying to kill him, but she met him with a...

[Kamino Neko]

...hug, which disarmed him. The two of them then...

[Alice Macher]

...struggled...

[Kamino Neko]

...to separate, when his watch band got caught on a tear in the back of her jacket. When he tore the jacket entirely in freeing himself...

[Tamar]

...he saw underneath she was wearing an Anne of Green Gables t-shirt. "I... hhhaaate... Anne of Green GabraaAAAR!" he said as he Hulked out. Helen ran to fetch...

[Kamino Neko]

...the devilled eggs, the only thing known to calm him down. Nobody knew why, but Helen suspected it was because...

[Tamar]

...he was born under a bad sign. Specifically, a sign that read, "Welcome to...

[Kamino Neko]

...Toronto.' The second worst sign ever. The worst being...