...tried to plant a big wet one on her lips.
"The helling hell?" said Aggie, grabbing her arm with one hand and pinching Lisulpa's lips shut with the other. "Not cool and not funny, Lis. I thought I'd made my boundaries clear a long time ago."
"Ymmph rmmph...ggmph, rmmph? Srmmph."
Aggie let go of Lisulpa's lips. "What?"
"You are...Aggie, right? Sorry."
"Uh...yeah." Aggie's face softened. "Lisa? What's going on? Are...are you okay?"
"No time!" Lisulpa about-faced and sped off.
"Lisa, wait! You still haven't explained how you got past the...Damn it, she can't hear me."
At dinner in Rugmunch Hall, Aggie told Penny about her disturbing encounter.
"Wow," said Penny. "That's not like Lisa. She's flaky, but she's not that
flaky. Not the least because she does take her 'SUP Y'ALL school--"
"That's WUSSUP, Pen," said Aggie.
"--very seriously. So why would she be flitting--and flirting--around here, and how'd she beat the anti-magic safeguards, unless...unless she's an evil Lisa from a parallel universe. Like that one
who barged in when we were working on our American History tableau, remember?"
"I remember. But today, that couldn't have been an evil doppleganger. She didn't have a goatee."
"Well, not all
evil parallel-world dopplegangers necessarily have goatees," said Penny.
who's being naive?"
"Don't you quote Homer Simpson at me, bitch."
"No, I'm Grasseater. You're
the bitch. Bitch." Aggie stuck her tongue out.
The two of them stared each other down a few moments. Then, as one, they bussed their trays quickly and headed back to their dorm to continue their conversation with less of an audience and even less clothing.
When they were done, er, conversing, they took a nap, nestled in each other's arms, only for Jade's screaming and moaning to awaken them. Taking a moment to orient themselves, they threw on clothes and dashed to Jade's and Sara's room at the other end of the hall to see if anything was the matter. There, they found a sock on the door. "Well, that explains it," said Penny in a hushed voice. "Go, Jade."
At that point, Sara entered the hall. "Is she still
at it?" she said wearily, then remembered to lower her voice too. "I forgot my laptop, and had to work on one of those old, crappy 'puters in Beauvoir.* Froze up on me and I lost twenty minutes' worth of work."
"Sorry to hear it," said Aggie, touching her arm. "Anyway, we only just got here. The, er, associated sounds woke us up."
"And are keeping us from studying," said Jules who, with Temperance, had just joined the three of them in the hall.
Just then, the door opened, and out came Lisulpa, pulling up her "banned in 40 of 50 states" skirt with one hand while carrying her stripey socks and shoes in the other. Through the cracked-open door, the others could just make out Jade, still nude, sprawling onto the floor face down, and babbling to herself in rapture.
"Wak! Guess we were bein' kinda loud. Sry to inconvenience you, everypony," said Lisulpa. "I'll be heading off now."
"Just a minute." Penny grabbed her arm. "We want some answers here, twit."
"Penny, be nice," said Aggie, nonetheless grabbing the other arm when Lisulpa began to struggle. "Now, spider-hair...talk to us. Do you know what day it is? Do you know who we are? Do you know who you
Their captive sighed. "October 25, 2012. I recognize...Penny, Aggie and Sara, but not you other two, no 'ffence. I know my pig-tailed poon partner in there is named Jade, 'cos she introduced herself. As for me..." She sighed again. "I'm not actually Lisa. I'm her tulpa
"Her what?" said the other women.
Lisulpa explained who she was and how she came to be.
Penny raked her hair. "So...yet another magical screw-up for our Ms. Mandrake. Well, at least this doesn't seem to have done any damage, not to mention it seems to have made Jade's night."
"Nuh nuh," said Lisulpa. "Weren't you listening? I'm not a product of magic, but of Tibetan Buddhist contemplation."
"Come on. The Lisa we know can't sit still long enough to contemplate anything."
"And yet, here I am. Besides, if I were a magical spell, how would your campus's defences not have neutralized me on sight?"
"...Yeah, point. But how is it you even know about that?"
"As a tulpa
, I know everything Lisa knows. (Don't say it.) No more, no less. 'S why I don't know these two...lllovely ladies here, because, presumably, Lisa's never met them."
Jules and Temperance blushed, the former with more of a grin.
way," said Sara. "While it's clear you mean no harm, we can't really have you running around campus sexing everyone up. Not like there's a shortage of opportunities here, amirite? So, how do we send you back to Lisa?"
"Got me. Not sure if Lis read that far ahead yet."
Penny facepalmed hard enough to leave a mark on her forehead. "Ridiculous twi--mmph phmm!"
"Come on now, Pen, don't overuse the catchphrase," said Aggie, restraining her lips. "I suggest we send our tulpa
friend here back by...* The renowned main library at Bad Bad Bad.